Diario de BeautiBabe, 08 sep. 10

yesterday was on point for eating and water intake. I have PE first thing in the morning on Tuesdays and Thursdays. My PE class is walk/jog. The way it read in the catalog was that we would speed walk then progress into jogging. HAHAHAHA. Yesterday we had to jog up the hills that surround our college. I made it a quarter of the way up the first hill and had to start walking. By the time I made it to the top and looked around I saw some of my classmates on the down slope of the last hill heading towards the teacher for their time. So I decided to try and jog again. No luck. So I walked up the 2nd hill. By the time I reached the top of that hill I was ready to quit. I was out of breath and I was extremely discouraged because it was really hard for me to get that far. I was tempted to turn around and head back down and just quit. However, I sucked it up and began to climb the third hill. OMG it was so steep compared to the first two...and I thought they were steep. half way up I start to cry and feel sorry for myself but I kept pushing my fat ass up the hill. I noticed that a classmate was halfway up the fourth hill puking his breakfast out. he looked around and made it to the top and turned around and was encouraging me to continue. He said "it's just a little bit more, you can do it, come on you're almost there, you got this, after this little bit it's all down hill from here, you got it there you go, and good job." If it wasn't for him I probably would've given up and just stayed there till I was done crying and could breath better again. He stayed with my for about 100 yards then asked if I was ok once I answered he asked if it was ok that he start jogging again. I said yes. He was sweet because he said if not he would wait with me longer. I let him go. We were getting timed on the hill. So he took off. I was speed walking down the hill and I was about an eighth of a mile away from the teacher he looked at me and got into his golf cart and took off. I finished the course and I felt good because I DID IT! I didn't give up like I had wanted to I ACTUALLY DID IT!!! yay for me. So I speed walked to our weight room. the other students were finishing up the sets that we had to do. I was half way thru my second set when the teacher came in and announced that the students that didn't get a time for the course didn't get credit for the day. Well everyone but me got a time and the entire class knew that and when he announced that they all looked at me. I felt like a failure. I tried my fucken hardest and I still got told it wasn't worth shit. Does he realize I'm the fattest one in the class. I'm not skinny and I still can keep up with the rest of the class. Granted I couldn't run/jog the hills but I did MY BEST!
After that the rest of my day was shitty. Nothing seemed to go right and all I kept hearing in my head was that you're not good enough, you failed.
Yesterday was so upsetting so today my son and I are going to that damn hill and I'm going to climb it. My goal is to climb it 2 or 3 times today. Because tomorrow for class we are doing it again.
Ok I'm done ranting. I'll write more later. I should be in a better mood.

Hope everyone is having a great day!