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wow it’s Valentines Day ♥️ I used to cry on account of all the chocolate bars, chocolate boxes, chocolate kisses & hugs being thrust into my face with instructions to “eat!” 🥊”no. Fuck you.” To this day I am e x t r e m e l y p i c k y about chocolate. Lindt, Sayklly’s, Seroogy’s, Dutch, Swiss, German, Mexican.... just anything that you have to import... just so long as it’s not EVER Hershey’s. 🤢
Not only did my youth include cheap chocolate with every imaginable holiday, but it was really fun to give in to hunger from fasting to impulsively binge eat it- thus poisoning myself and spending the rest of the night ill and indisposed...
Ah, memories.
I was a young girl with food addiction, and I had horrible anxiety around this, and many, holidays.
The anxiety would create a tension in me and thus ruin my holiday vibe. Hard to get romantic when you’re so concerned with your appearance and your appetite. But! I’m 7 years pregnant- no wait, that’s not it... I’m 7 years recovered from food addiction and I’m 7 months pregnant, and I’m s t i l l n o t a f a n of Hershey’s chocolate. 🥴 “No, thank you.”
I am no longer threatened by food. Not chocolate, not cake, not pizza, pasta, bread. I took chocolate off the pedestal and it became something I could fit into every day. And I did that. My recovery includes the mental challenge of the addicted food in moderation. I knew that I could have it, and that I would have it again. I have discovered that I prefer orange dark chocolate and I dislike raspberry chocolate. I have not had a problem with binging on chocolate for 7 years because it was a demystified evil.
If you’re putting a food on a pedestal and that’s not working out for you, knock that shit off. Demystify it. Plan to include it. Often. Tell yourself that you don’t have to go hog wild on the stuff now, you’ll get to have it again. And then follow through for yourself.
Well that’s all I’ve got for you this morning
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