Do you know that part in a movie when everything is going well - almost too good to be true? Then all of a sudden everything takes a turn for the worst? Yeah that moment for me was last night.

I wanted to go home and sleep, not burn over 700 calories in the pool doing Aqua Zumba -BUT- I really wanted to win this Fitbit Challenge against my coworkers this week, so I committed to stepping up.

Anyway, long story short - I struggled into my home late, arms full, completely exhausted, and for some odd reason, my shoe fell off my foot as I was struggling to get inside. I was able to pick it up with my socked foot but it fell again. I managed to get inside after my husband heard me struggling and came to help. He asked me: "Where were you?" His tone wasn't normal, it was more accusatory so mockingly I said, "At the Gym, Where were you?" and he snapped!

~flash forward through the awful details of an embarrassing fight, except for the one part where he said I was acting unstable and I picked up a chair and threw it down breaking it as I screamed, "Of course I am unstable - I haven't eaten anything in over a week and a half!" ~

So it turns out - the whole time I was at the gym, my cell phone was inside my jacket pocket inside a metal locker and our family tracker moved my position to what I am assuming is a cell tower 2 miles away - not the gym. He thought I was lying and cheating on him. He got all crazy so I got just as equally crazy back and started calling him immature names the whole time he is yelling at me and acting like a self-righteous nut job.

Anyway - I was too hurt, angry, crying, depressed, sad to go to the gym this morning to work out. I gave up. I don't even care if I lose this competition. It's not worth it. I was so proud of myself for pushing myself further this week than last week. Now I want to say screw all of my progress and go to an all I can eat buffet and binge eat my feelings into a depression coma then binge drink for days until I lose my job and get arrested, AND I want to chain smoke an entire carton of cigarettes all by myself... but I won't... that's just my addiction trying to take advantage of me feeling hurt and vulnerable right now. AND I am not going to let it win. I am stronger now because of this. I am also proud of myself for going to work instead of crawling into my bed and sleeping all weekend long.

By the way, the only thing helping me feel better right now besides my husband calling me to tell me he is sorry is COFFEE - and thinking about where in the United States coffee grows - and how in 25 days I will be deep in coffee bean farm country.

Ver Calendario de Dieta, 11 marzo 2022:
2371 kcal Grasa: 87,32g | Prot: 163,41g | Carbh: 224,64g.   Desayuno: Coffee, Hidden Valley Fat Free Ranch Dressing (Packet), Sour Cream, Cream Cheese, Great Value Medium Black Olives, Cauliflower, Broccoli. Almuerzo: Shop 'n Save Hamburger Dill Pickle Chips, Lowell Pickled Mushrooms, 365 Organic Jumbo Green Olives, Zing Zang Bloody Mary Mix, Ore-Ida Extra Crispy Golden Crinkles French Fried Potatoes. Cena: Teriyaki Chicken, Sizzler Steak & Hibachi Chicken, Fried Rice. más...
2245 kcal Ejercicio: Durmiendo - 8 horas, Descansando - 8 horas, Trabajo de Escritorio - 8 horas. más...

28 Seguidores    Apoyo   

Comentarios 
The struggle is real. ❤️❤️ 
11 mar. 22 por el miembro: Rehab Rockstar
Why are you trying to lose 15lbs in one month? if the crash diet is that hard and making you that hangry I'd rethink it.  
11 mar. 22 por el miembro: bdixon1989
Oh my, that’s rough… so sorry Don’t starve yourself, it doesn’t work and bad things can happen. Go slow and cut back. Good luck this weekend 
11 mar. 22 por el miembro: bigbtn
These family trackers seem to be causing quite a few of these “misunderstandings” amongst people I am acquainted with. Wonder if they are worth all the agrivation. 
11 mar. 22 por el miembro: Kenna Morton
those emotional out of control fights take their toll. Get rid of the Fitbit. One less thing to make you upset.  
11 mar. 22 por el miembro: Brigit123
I can understanding "tracking" your kids for their safety, but TRACKING a spouse? I'd never agree to that bullshit! Sorry for your struggles! Best Wishes to you. 
11 mar. 22 por el miembro: 2handedjam
Woosah 🧘🏼‍♀️ 
11 mar. 22 por el miembro: JoJo11~11
Yikes! What a challenging ordeal. Kudos to you for handling the situation as well as you did - especially today!  
12 mar. 22 por el miembro: Debbie Cousins
That is tough. But at least your husband did apologize. As I read your post I kept wondering why your shoe kept falling off 
13 mar. 22 por el miembro: Fritzy 22
@Fritzy22 - my shoe keeps falling off because I lost weight is the only reason I can think of - it's a slip-on shoe so I guess it slips off. When I am doing lunges it flies off. These shoes suck. I have no idea why I wear them other than I don't care much about them and there isn't enough snow to justify wearing my winter boots.  
14 mar. 22 por el miembro: _KC
@DJinVegas - Something is up. At first, I thought: Mental disorder -- but then I thought -- what would this other person have to gain by making all of this shit up?!! Con artist? Sexual allegations are harsh because they can do so much damage without even being proven. I hope you have lawyers.  
14 mar. 22 por el miembro: _KC
About the tracking device - it's supposed to be for emergencies.  
14 mar. 22 por el miembro: _KC
About the extreme dieting - It's because I have only 3 weeks left now before I fly to Hawai'i and if I don't TRY to do something about my midwestern/quarantine body by the time I get there I will be so depressed and mad at myself. I will be naked for 3 of the days at a very rich person's house (because it's a massage retreat) 
14 mar. 22 por el miembro: _KC

     
 

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