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Thank you sooo much for the support everyone... I haven't texted or called or anything yet (just a few desperate tweets stating my loneliness to no one in particular). I have kept my distance, i haven't gone to his house, i haven't begged, i haven't tried reaching him. Yes, the pain has started to sink in. But also, YES, I have realised that i wasn't the person that i wanted to be, i didn't have a regime of my own, my goals were stuck, i couldn't dream, i couldn't really feel or focus on anything! All of my focus was on him, all i wanted was to wait for him to do anything either that was the initiative to break up or move on with me. My life was mostly about him. And even though i did a great deal of things i didnt really put my heart or head in any of those. I feel numb and in pain but also - oh God- oh so clean. I feel i need to start caring about me again. REALLY DO SO. I don't even know if it's possible but i had missed myself SO MUCH. Right now i feel so confused.... Confused but clean. I love him sure.... but i NEED to love me too. I want to become my own person, i just felt like i was so.... empty. EMPTY AF. There is such a huge void inside of me.... obviously because he left and took my everything with him. But truthfully, i has hanging there empty... i was oh so empty before he left.... and eventhough i was indeed trying to get myself full again... i just couldnt. Not wilst he was there, not wilst i was waiting for him to silently judge me or treat me badly me or psychologically abuse me. Because what is telling someone i love you and i need you and i need you to do this and that and him saying that he cant and then telling you off because you re unhappy.... and shutting the phone to your face and never ever being there when you need them? i was asking for love and got pain. And some more pain on top of that... and the answer to me wondering when he s going to give what i want? "why are you nagging, i am here aren't i? you are so unappreciative of me and my trying to be there for you and love you"..... whilst i was begging for love... and him giving me null..
... feel free to be supportive...
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1202 kcal
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Grasa: 41,71g | Prot: 90,02g | Carbh: 115,25g.
Desayuno: Whole Wheat Bread (Commercial), ΗΠΕΙΡΟΣ - epirus Logadi, Egg, Monini White Truffle Flavored Extra Virgin Olive Oil. Almuerzo: Beef Liver. Cena: Peloponnese Kalamata Olives, Sliced Ham (Regular, Approx. 11% Fat), Denny's Sliced Tomatoes (3 Slices), Mozzarella Cheese (Whole Milk), Toasted Rye Bread, Opa Souvlaki of Greece Chicken Pita Wrap. más...
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