Diario de Honestly, 07 feb. 12

I feel like I am teatering on a high wire while arm wrestling the Hulk. I have no upper body strenght. My head is wandering over to the dark side. I could easily eat all the unhealthy sweets, junk food I could fit into a cart at the grocery store right now. I am feeling weak. Four days straight of NOT going to the gym. Thinking alot about cake. Why? What's happening!? Should not be feeling this defeated. I have done great. Satan is whispering in my ear. LaLaLaLaLa not listening.
I know I have been distracted this past week or so. I need to pull it together. My daughter was in a car accident a week ago Friday. Alone in the car she started to swerve in the snow, over corrected, hit the ditch and flipped the car. Airbags deployed windows all broke out, car totaled. She walked away without a scratch! I have never known such overwhelming gratitude. Could not help but think we should be planning a funeral. Her shoulder is tender. That's all. It is amazing and I am so unbelievably grateful. Everytime she passes by me I have to give her a hug. My mouth is still hanging open in auw. Two days later my son hurt is knee again playing basketball. He has hurt this same knee three times before and has two sugeries on it. He is away at college almost three hours away and I just wanted to get in the car and go "fix" it. I knew it must really be hurting or he never would told his overbearing mother. Both he and my husband encouraged me to stay home. I realize he is a 20year old adult. I am a mom. A mom trumps everything! It has been hard for me to not rush to his aid. Another son absolutely hates his job and wants out. He spends every free minute job searching and complaining about his current job. Sometimes I wanna slap him upside the head and tell him to toughin up. Most times I feel bad that he is so unhappy. This parenting thing has been consuming me. For a control freak like me it has been completely un-nerving to know I have no control. That notion of no control has slipped right into my physce with this weight loss journey. I am white knuckling it right now. I will not surrender! That's what I am shouting over my screaming sweet tooth anyway. I believe it. I just don't feel strong enough for the fight right now. I will NOT surrender!

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1558 kcal

Grasa: 67,66g | Prot: 61,89g | Carbh: 177,55g.   Desayuno: coffee, miracle whip fat free, hard boiled egg, albacore tuna, healthy multi grain . Almuerzo: carrots, peanuts, miracle whip fat free, healthy multi grain, hard boiled egg, albacore tuna. Cena: mashed potatos, chicken fried steak . Pasa Bocas / Otros: white cake, granola thins nature valley. más...

3784 kcal

Ejercicio: Máquina de Ejercicio (Rápido) - 27 minutos, Ejercicio Acondicionado (Centro de Salud) - 25 minutos, Descansando - 15 horas y 8 minutos, Durmiendo - 8 horas. más...