Diario de Rubie-sue, 13 jun. 12

Well went up this week, oh joy, and yes there were mitigating circumstances, but that does not excuse my part in all of it. Now does it? Oh sure a bit of stress, lack of sleep, socially busy, semester break from workout classes; none the less how chose to react to it all is the baseline reason that the scale went up. It was the conscious decision to put in my mouth what I did that reacted in a UP weigh in. I was full and perfectly content w/my full feeling, yet....there was cake, and on must eat cake if it is there. I wasn't even hungry but one must eat the macaroni salad. I made it after all and I don't want to bring that much back home because I'll just eat it. (And I still am doing that!) OH and the cookies one little cookie won't hurt...but 6 of them will...noooo they won't not till you get to 9!! Damn I ate 10. And I knew each time one of them was put into my mouth. I was not drugged, or tied up, or knocked unconscious and fed. I did it to myself one temptation at a time. No other reason. Not stress. Not my TOM. Not tiredness. Not even going to a party (I could have packed "my" food). It was just not caring, for that split second of not carring and stuffing it in.

So here is to caring again. Here is to truly looking at why on earth are you eating that and putting it down. Not just putting it down but knowing that no matter what you think you're using as a reason to eat is stupid. Put is down and walk away. Put it down and go running. Put down and clean. Put it down and go outside. Even put it down and go back to whatever you were doing and/or thinking about that you're using for an excuse. Just put it down, suck it up, and care about what that one "little" slip up will do. 1 or 15 or 30 cookies are not going to make the issue and/or situation go away; it will just make you wish that you cared enough to put it down.