Diario de Jessimicka13

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12 marzo 2019

Peso:	Disminuído hasta ahora:	Aún para ir:	Dieta seguida:
101,5 kg	2,3 kg	17,6 kg	Bien

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10 marzo 2019

Yesterday was a good day!!!

(2 comentarios)

09 marzo 2019

I work in a call center...so I spend 90% of my work day chained to my desk by a phone cord. I could use the wireless head set and wander around the floor aimlessly. <-- sounds like a good idea in theory...until I get a call, then the entire site gets to see me scurry back to my desk like a mad woman, running over all those that get in my way.
(I don't run-so scurry is the correct term for what I do)
So about a month or so ago I got one of those little under the desk bike thingies (such a technical term). This little back has completely changed the way I function at work!
Prior to purchasing this thing I would walk up and down the aisles throwing a weighted ball around-really not safe, and problematic (my sup would have to hunt me down to actually get me to work).
I totally need more suggestions for more equipment that I can use at my desk...you know without having to lay down a yoga mat in my cubicle...

(10 comentarios)

27 febrero 2019

Peso:	Disminuído hasta ahora:	Aún para ir:	Dieta seguida:
102,1 kg	1,7 kg	18,1 kg	Bien

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24 febrero 2019

I don't weigh in....I truly don't want to ever know my weight. The fact that a few months ago-prior to depression and unhealthy choices is kinda astonishing. That sad fact however doesn't really play into why I decided to start taking inventory of what I am doing via food and exercise; I did this because I am tired of being me. I am tired of being judged solely on my weight.
With the previous paragraph in mind I find it insane that at 31 I get judged by some random human at the gym, for the same exact thing that I was picked on in middle school for. Now this is not something that happened years ago that has subconsciously plaguing me, until recently I have been very positive about how I appear, no this is something that happened to me last Monday. I will be honest, I have worried about how people see me, hell I'm human; but to have someone look at me while I am working out (in an obvious attempt to better myself), and grimace, like im nothing but a disgusting piece of fat.
After telling my husband that we are leaving, and sobbing in the car, I felt that there was some explaining that needed to be done.
**side note-my husband is built very similar to how I am. Short and we are rounded. He too has had problems with weight-and trust that the military addressed these issues rather vocally while he was in service--but for the most part outside of the military he has not been judged**
I had to explain to him that the way I look has been a massive issue. I have been teased horribly at school (left to cry in restrooms), at the public poll (again with the restroom tears), and even by family (no restroom crying this time, instead hiding under the bed and refusing to come out).
Due to this I have altered my personality. I have become a horrible person. This trend started in high school, where my boyfriend would state that he would dump me if I was note physically appealing. I figured then, as I have now, that if I am not friendly they will focus on that rather than my weight. Until last Monday that theory held true.
I let my guard down. I was happy with the effort I was putting out. I was starting to be content with who I am. I was working out to be healthy and to gain the confidence that I lacked prior in my life. And sadly I let one person disrupt roughly 6 months of progress.
Today, after thinking and rethinking, and yet rethinking some more-I have decided that I need to be positive. Progress or no progress, I want to be happy. I am done allowing random people to tear me down. I hate the fact that I am judged on my appearance first and foremost, yes, if you're going to dislike me it's going to be based on my snarky attitude damnit!
I have let this issue get to me for far too long. I want to be healthy, thinner would be a perk yes...but I just want to be happy.

IT'S TIME TO LET THE HAPPINESS SHINE THROUGH.

(10 comentarios)

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