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09 abril 2014
Ick...did taxes today...that ought to help my food intake as well!! I spent 50 minutes exercising today. I am trying to complete some other tasks I hate. All part of the process of reforming my behaviors. I came into work for my coworker so she could get some sleep as she hasn't been feeling well. I will need to fight the urge to snack when I get home. And fight the urge to watch tv until I should have been in bed long before. Playing volleyball with some friends this week. Good reminder of my physical fitness! or lack thereof. Exercising daily doesn't mean my body is geared up for a sport!
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06 abril 2014
I have to say this. I did all the whining and decided to do my food log, do my exercise log and actually step on a scale. I did. I am at work, hospital, so there are a few of those around. And I was actually 168. I will put my energy there. I text my sister that I have 28 pounds to go so I am not hiding myself somewhere!!
Thanks all!
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06 abril 2014
Lord, can you fix my eyesight like you did for the blind man? I want to see with your eyes those who are teased for being different in school. I want to see with your eyes the homeless person on a park bench. I want to see with your eyes people form other races and cultures. I want to see more than people who think that being thinner or stronger makes you more loveable. I want to see more than people who look at wealth an dthink that's what life is all about. Help me to see with your eyes, Lord. Blind me to the way the world sees so that I won't give in to judging people on their looks or skin color or possessions or personality. Help me to see, and to love, as you love, Lord--with eyes so wide open that they see past the outside and right in to the heart of another. (From a children's prayer book)
Today is some better. I am crying in some spilled milk. My yoga meditations are helpful. I am going to start the yoga physical part this week. I am also working on getting rid of the word "think" in my vocabulary. I am not sure why, however it was pointed out to me I use it a bunch. I am swirling a bit on a few other levels and food seems to be a good comfort. Money, work and boys. Damn boys! Usually I cut my hair off when I am having this kind of swirling so I am trying not to do that. This stage is when I feel nothing moving and I am forceful so I cut my hair to suggest I have some sort of control over the swirling. I do not. I am irritated someone didn't tell me about a training I should be going to and I want to confront the person, however that will likely not fair well for either of us. I need to go. The information is needed. Is the stress of the situation more than I need? I don't need the people I will see. I can't even say might see. Yuck. It feels like a mind game with myself. I need to get the seeing of these people over, however I don't know that the need is necessarily now. It will likely happen in its own time, which is what I thought when I signed up to go to something else. And I can't not do what I need to do out of fear of runnning into people. Perhaps this no exercise and eating is a way to sabatoge my moving forward because I will be feeling bad about myself already and I am making my own point, maybe someone else gets this also. The ruining of things so they don't have to happen or postponing the hurt feelings so I can keep them a little longer and hang on to my grudge and guilt a little longer so I am fully responsible for my continual sabatoge is there a limit to run-on sentences and psychotic pondering! all love know judge
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06 abril 2014
Peso:
Disminuído hasta ahora:
Aún para ir:
Dieta seguida:
76,2 kg
5,4 kg
12,7 kg
Bien
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Perdiendo 0,1 kg a la Semana
05 abril 2014
Today I want to quit. My exercise has fallen off since I ran the silly four mile run because it took a week or so for my foot to heal or for the swelling in my joints to go do so the nerve in my back would stop radiating to my foot.
My pants are feeling tight. I don't think it's because of my food intact, but the lack of movement. I have stayed pretty consistent with my food intact. salad, less carbs, more protein. Sugar doesn't really sound good.
What I notice is my general blahness and maybe this is where I have quit in the past. My daily meditation is about this very thing. I will listen to this and forge ahead. My weight is the same. I am puffy. Too many green olives...I read they are a good probiotic, however maybe not by the jar-full!
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