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Mary2270
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31 octubre 2011
On one of the other sites that I frequent, the sentence, "I feel sorry for everyone beginning eating healthy today,at Halloween." That statement has caused me to think hard all morning. I once felt sorry that I had to watch what I eat and follow a different eating plan than all of those around me. "Poor Mary....."
Not anymore. I am glad to have control over my eating behaviors and thought processes. I am rejoicing that I will not be gaining the weight this holiday season. I am going to concentrate on what I need, not what others need me to need. My family back home needs me to be fat. They can relate to fat Mary, not the new much slimmer Mary. I seem to be a threat to them whenever I am losing weight. They look for me to fail. My failure reinforces or validates their continued failure. Most of my family is overweight. HMMMM....more thoughts coming on this issue.
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28 octubre 2011
Just have had so many aha moments lately. I am going to make it this time! I am finally changing what needs to be changed. My supervisor was short with me when I asked her a question. Instead of patiently answering me, she snapped at me. I instantly went back to the table by my desk (Another food day) and grabbed some sausage and cheese and popped it in my mouth. I then realized what I was doing. Trying to stuff my feelings of inadequacy, anger, etc with food. Grabbed a kleenex and spit it all out. I then allowed myself a chance to process my feelings and went back to the supervisor. Before I could even say anything, she apologized to me for her actions. WOW!
What do I need? All of my life I have focused on others and what they need. I have been surrounded by people who need more that I can give. I gave more that I had to give. Then I had nothing to give to myself, so I ate to stuff my needs. I had some wild sisters that gave my mom some rough times. I was the good little girl and felt I couldn't let on that I needed my mom. I needed to have someone to confide in. Someone to care for my emotional needs. I had none of that because my mom had nothing to give. She was dealing with her own demons and issues. I didn't want to stress her out more, so I stuffed my needs down with food. I need love, caring, support, protection, someone to get angry for me and someone to let myself get angry. I need ME!!!!!! I need to care for myself and my needs.
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27 octubre 2011
Peso:
Disminuído hasta ahora:
Aún para ir:
Dieta seguida:
127,0 kg
6,8 kg
47,6 kg
Bien
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peso estable
21 octubre 2011
Went to Red Lobster last night for my Birthday. During the day I looked at the menu for Red Lobster and wrote down what I needed to order to stay within my calorie goals for the day. I ordered what I had written down. The only thing I overate was one cheese garlic biscuit. What a big difference than the past when I would extremely overeat whenever I went out.
(2 comentarios)
20 octubre 2011
Peso:
Disminuído hasta ahora:
Aún para ir:
Dieta seguida:
127,0 kg
6,8 kg
47,6 kg
100%
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Perdiendo 1,1 kg a la Semana
Peso Histórico de Mary2270
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