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15 agosto 2023
Having another bowel flare-up from all the anxiety over the weekend. Now I am mad at Mom for this because she said she would not help me unless she is my payee. I feel trapped and need to get out of her grip. I think it is time, but I cannot manage shopping and classes once school is in session. My classes are my first priority, even if it means I go longer without a shopping trip.
Mom won't teach me how to manage my funds so I know what to do when I get the first paycheck after graduation. I do not think Social Security would want to see me like this. It is time for the payee to be changed and cut her off totally. I have been hurt by her so many times I do not care anymore. If I never speak to her or see her again, I will be happier and more relaxed. It is time to cut her loose and celebrate the holidays like the Catholic that I am.
Peso:
Disminuído hasta ahora:
Aún para ir:
Dieta seguida:
62,0 kg
1,5 kg
0,7 kg
Bien
(5 comentarios)
Ganando 1,1 kg a la Semana
14 agosto 2023
Had a really bad day Saturday.The maintenance guys working in the next door unit caused a sensory overload and I fled. That did not help and I went into a collapse response. Fled to Target. Left my keys there by accident, still in an overloaded state. After being at Mom's all day, I was on my way home with her driving and I realize my keys are missing and panic. She drove me to Target to get them, then took me home. At 9:30 p.m. we had a loud clap of thunder that overloaded me a second time.
I got bad news this morning that they are putting ADT alarms in my apartment. Though they will pay for them, I know this will be a source of sensory overstimulation for me. I am scared. A few hours ago, I got more bad news, from Mom this time. I want to learn to manage my money, but she will not teach me. I am thinking it is about time I got a payee that will teach me and help me budget each week. Mom will not help me if she is not my payee, though. So I will need to figure out how to get my own shopping done by myself, with just the case manager for help. So, I am upset now.
I don't look forward to going to Mom's house on Thanksgiving anyway. I sit there like I am useless and do not participate. I do not believe in Santa Claus and am not afraid to say so. I want to celebrate the holidays like the Catholic that I am.
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08 agosto 2023
Fans are giving me a bad headache and dries out my nose and throat. They make it hard to breathe, so I just do not use them. I try the best I can to avoid them, but I cannot avoid riding the bus. My blackout curtains closed are usually enough to keep my apartment cool in summer. The bus likes to run fans and here I am opening a window to try to relieve myself. The Doctor tested me for Sjogren's, so we will see. In the meantime, I have some stool tests to do for the anemia and I need to go see the GI Doc Monday. Most likely, it is because I am gluten free and a vegetarian that I am anemic. I think it might be the dry air causing my issues with fans and A/Cs. I am going to try a dry mouth mouthwash and saline nasal spray to see if this helps. I cannot avoid the bus, though, because I cannot drive a car.
It is 9:10 p.m. here and I am tired. Please do not take the jumbled thoughts personally. I do not think straight when I am tired. I am going to get ready for bed now.
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07 agosto 2023
Peso:
Disminuído hasta ahora:
Aún para ir:
Dieta seguida:
60,7 kg
2,8 kg
0 kg
Bien
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Perdiendo 0,5 kg a la Semana
03 agosto 2023
I accidentally forgot to take my lactase tablets 4 days ago and had a boatload of diarrhea this morning. Still feeling somewhat bloated and in pain, but watching it. I need ideas what to do when I accidentally consume lactose without my tablets. I try to avoid it and use my tablets when I must consume it, but sometimes I forget. I am intolerant to lactose in most dairy products, except for hard cheeses. Typically, I just wait it out and avoid consuming lactose until it finishes. Ideas please?
I cannot eat anything and everything, unfortunately, with my IBS-C. I am also sensitive to fructans, especially inulin. I am trying to keep those low FODMAP for a while, too, at least until I can discuss it with my GI doctor on August 14th.
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